Has the change of seasons inspired you to spark your love life, or do you find yourself in dire need of some advice to find the love of your life? Either way, we have talked to a dating expert to help you find what you’re looking for. These are 5 of his best tips to find love.
For a while now, we’ve been living in a strange world. One thing is having to stay at home with the family, but to be locked inside your own apartment only with the company of your own, crazy thoughts – now that’s a whole different ballgame.
Some of us might have frozen solid on the couch waiting for the sunshine to release us from our shackles, and if that’s you, I am here to tell you that the wait is over. It’s okay, you can come out now. Spring is here! Birds are chirping, flowers are blooming, and somewhere out there – whether at the other end of a dating app or near the groceries at your local supermarket, someone might be waiting for you.
Spring is the perfect time to let go of the past and start a new chapter, and to give that chapter of yours a strong and positive beginning, we have linked up with dating expert Jesper Nørskov Jensen from Datinghelp.co.uk.
Jesper runs a number of websites in several countries dedicated to guide people on their dating endeavours and help them find their soulmate. If you’re hungry for love, here are some of his advice.
Be Open and Inviting
Some say that love comes your way when you least expect it. If you’ve been single for a while, this is perhaps the one thing that you’re most tired of hearing. So, what then? Should you just stop trying? It’s not just an annoying thing to say – it’s also not true.
Of course, some people have jobs where they meet lots of interesting individuals during the week. That’s great – congrats! But what about those of us with more introverted job situations? What do you do when you work from home? And what if the only other single down at the office is antisocial Alex who never says good morning? Well, I guess you just wait for Alex to ask you out – any minute now…
The thing is, if you like Alex, it’s up to you to find out if Alex likes you back. Of course, you’re not supposed to hit on every living thing, and if you are, please stop it. However, every relationship starts with some random conversation, and someone has got to be the first to talk. Why not you?
It doesn’t have to be love at first sight, but to put it simply, if you carry an open heart and a positive, inviting demeanour, people will find it easier to approach you, thereby increasing the chances of finding someone you click with.
Be the Best Version of Yourself
Have you ever had a look in the mirror and considered whether you would actually go on a date with yourself? It’s easy to end up grumpy and disenchanted because no one seems to look your way, but maybe it’s simply because you haven’t been to the gym since before the pandemic. If that’s the case, join the club!
Of course, it’s not that you have to be Chris Hemsworth’s stunt double or Scarlett Johansson’s doubleganger to get a glance. But let’s face it – would you rather kick up a conversation with one of the above or someone in dire need of a shower who’s been on a Mickey D’s diet for a year?
Finding yourself a partner is a bit like selling a house. With or without freshly painted walls and a fresh new roof, the house is the same. But if you go house shopping and stumble upon a house that looks like it’s been untouched for 30 years, you’ve got to admit that it’s rather difficult to see its potential.
All in all, just try to be the best version of yourself. Paint the windows, clean the gutters, decorate your living room with some stylish furniture to get the inspiration flowing, and then your house will sell in no time, if you catch my drift.
Choose Your Battlefields
With the vast variety of dating apps today, getting in touch with someone has never been more convenient. A swipe here, a swipe there… and BAM! You’ve got yourself a match! However, even though free dating apps are completely effortless, using them to find someone you click with can be like finding a needle in a haystack.
When it comes to online dating, finding a site or app that corresponds with you and your needs can be well worth your time. Of course, I guess it makes sense to pick one with a solid number of members, but how many lousy dates can one persevere? How long before all hope is lost?
By choosing your battlefields wisely, you can filter out the ones with whom you have no common ground. In other words, this should bring you closer to someone with shared interests who seeks the same.
Choosing a dating site to assist you in your hunt for lasting love is like going to a party and choosing your wingman. Do you go for Steve who is very effective but quite the shallow type whom you’ve only known since Tuesday? Or do you go for Sarah who is quite fussy but whom you’ve known since kindergarten and knows what you’re looking for?
Both wingmen are completely fine to choose – it’s totally up to you. It’s okay to have fun, and in some cases, Steve is probably the better choice. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something solid and have grown tired of wasting your efforts, perhaps Sarah would make much more sense.
In the same way, if you’re looking for love without using dating sites or apps, choosing what pond to fish in can be very useful. You don’t necessarily need to go to a bar and get plastered to get someone on the hook. Most of us make terrible choices when we drink anyways, so why not try a different approach?
Use Your Network
Using your network is not to be understood as making moves on your LinkedIn connections. It’s more in line with the previous story about Steve and Sarah and how someone who knows a bit about you probably has a better idea as to who would match your personality rather than some guy on the street, even though he has an impressive list of Facebook friends.
Using your network is another way of choosing quality over quantity. In fact, lots of people meet their partners through friends and acquaintances, and if you tell people around you that you’re actively looking for a partner, chances are they might know someone that would be perfect for you.
Like the fresh warmth of spring wakes the flowers from their slumber, maybe there could also be a certain someone somewhere in your past that you might have forgotten. Perhaps the two of you really got along great, but one or both of you had other partners at the time. Who knows – now could be the perfect time to catch up!
Take Risks and Have Some Fun!
I know, going on a first date is always frightening, and it’s easy to say that you should just put your thoughts aside and stop being anxious about the situation. But to be frank, the phrase just do it has never been more appropriate. There’s no way around it – finding love is a game of chances, and you simply just have to risk it.
Even though you might be more comfortable with waiting to go on a date with a match until you know everything about the person, I assure you, going on a date and having no questions left to ask can be quite awkward.
You and your match could easily turn out to be terrific pen pals – but nothing more than that. Written and spoken language are simply two different realms, and you will never find out if there’s chemistry between the two of you until you meet each other for real.
In other words, you shouldn’t be too careful about it. Of course, finding your soulmate isn’t a task to be taken lightly, but if you’re trying to paint a perfect picture of your potential partner before you’ve even met, you’re taking out all the fun. Be curious, be optimistic, be spontaneous, and try to have some fun with it.
One day you could find yourself in the company of a bossy partner and a bunch of high-maintenance kiddoes. You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, and on that note, if your next date doesn’t go as you’d imagined, you might as well enjoy your single life for as long as it lasts.
Unless you’re already married to your job, at some point in life, you won’t have the same opportunities as right now. There’s no need to act desperately, and besides, many people find desperation as a turnoff. Learn to enjoy your own company and appreciate being able to put yourself first. You should only be with someone because you simply can’t help it – not because you’re lonely.